April 13, 2013

Stop the Worrying...

Hello my lovelies,

Spring finally decided to show face. Today the sun came out, and I did too. I have been waiting for a change in the weather and it seemed like eternity before Spring sprung.  I'll have to admit that one of the reasons for my lack of outfit post updates is because the weather has been too cold for me to step outside let alone think of taking pictures. I don't do cold weather at all. So I am definitely glad the weather is warming up.

Today's post is going to be a lengthy write-up, so if you're not into reading you are more than welcome to just browse through and check out the fashion. If you don't mind reading, then read on.  

This year I am challenging myself to fight with an inner demon. Yes I will refer to it as "demon" because it has had such a strong hold on me throughout most of my adult life and has partly molded me into the kind of person I have become. Although I would prefer not using that term, but I believe a word that unholy and unrighteous would be my wake-up call to yank myself out of this mental and emotional imprisonment I've been caged in. What I am referring to is this: I WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT PLEASING OTHERS AND CARING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OR SAY ABOUT ME.

I am here to tell you right now that pleasing people really sucks!

 "What will _____ think," was a constant inner voice that whispered to me. What will people think of me if I disagree with them or if I do not do what they want me to do? What will people think of me if something bothers me and I speak up? What will people think of me or say about me if they learn something about my past? What kind of things are people saying about me because of past poor decisions made by family members? What will happen if I don't do what a friend says, will they still remain friends with me? What kind of judgement are people making about me behind my back? How will people react if I take on a new venture?......and so on. I lived in constant fear of taking actions or saying something that would make someone get mad at me or end up not liking me or not talking to me. I've made choices that were not in my best interest just so I can please someone else. I've made choices that have left me feeling unsettled. I did all that because I am a people pleaser and I want to make those around me happy and to like me - and naturally enough - I want people to think well of me. 

But NO MORE! No more loosing sleep or wasting time and energy worrying about comments, negative reviews, or raised eyebrows. I have to mentally and emotionally convince myself that the world is not a stage where I or any of my family need to perform for a watchful and critiquing audience. I cannot avoid criticism but I will learn to live with it and not allow it to have such a grip on my life. I need to remind myself that I do not need anyone's approval but my own. Sure, it would be nice if people like me. But I will not live my life for that reason.  What I've learned about people is this: 1) People will think what they want to think.  2) Not everyone is going to like you. There will always be some who like you and some who don't, and that is totally fine.  3) There will always be people who will have their own opinion or judgement of you regardless. 4) There is no perfect person in this world. No man is born without faults. 
5) People are going to talk about you until the day you die.

The bottom line is - You cannot control how people feel about you, so what other people think about you is none of your business!

I am now taking a different approach to life(need a swift kick to remind my sorry ass what is really important in life). I will ....Wear something ugly. Do or say something stupid. Tell someone the truth. Say No, be assertive. Put a stop to negative people and negative situations...enough said..

So, if you're one of those people who constantly worries about what others think of you, I encourage you to please start reversing those unpleasant thoughts. The truth is, not everyone is going to like you anyway so why bother trying? Let them get mad over petty stuff if they want to, but please don't become a victim of that kind of small-mindedness. I've been there, done it, got the t-shirt, and I can assure you that life is simply not fun if you are so worried about pleasing/offending other people. Be yourself and have fun!!!

 I leave you with some inspirational messages from Oprah's life lessons. Hope it touches you in your daily lives as it has been for me.

1. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

2. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

3. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

4. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

5. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

As always, thank you so much for stopping by!!!

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